What Seed Are You Watering in the Person Before You?

There is a story I often think about, and often tell the people around me.

In April last year my younger brother and I were on the train from Huế to Đà Nẵng. I had booked two window seats on the left-hand side of the aisle for the two of us. As we boarded, a man about my father’s age was standing with his shoes on the arm of the seat, reaching for something in the luggage rack above the seat I had booked. Even though it felt a little impolite and unhygienic, I was not angry; I simply walked in very slowly, and this is the conversation the two of us had:

Me: Uncle, I am going to be sitting here — could you help me wipe the arm of the seat with a tissue?
(I used body language too: a shrug of the shoulders and a bow of the head)
Him: Yes, my child, let me wipe the seat for you!

I was so pleased, and I bowed my head and thanked him many times. He was sitting a little across from us, on the right-hand side of the carriage.

A while later he needed to reach up a second time, and this time he asked me first: my child, may I stand on this seat to get my things? And I noticed he had taken off both his shoes and his socks.

The last time, when we were nearly at our stop, he took his luggage right down and sat in the row next to us, and he brought out a packet of the crisp rice cakes that are a speciality of Ninh Bình and said: “My child, let me give you this packet of cakes.”

Awww!

I said: “Uncle, I am from Ninh Bình myself — please keep them and take them home!”

Thank you so much, uncle, for setting me a test that let me become a better person.

And here is a little story from Thích Nhất Hạnh’s book “Is Nothing Something?”, which I love.

“Teacher, how do I know whether someone is a true friend?”

“This takes time, my child. In every person there is a seed of loyalty and a seed of betrayal. If we water our own loyalty and are loyal to our friends, we sow that same seed in them. So rather than worrying about whether one day the other person will betray you, you can help that person build their loyalty further, and they will stay beside you and be your friend for a long time.”